


Hypnotized

by charmenna



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-09
Packaged: 2018-09-27 23:40:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10057193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmenna/pseuds/charmenna
Summary: Was there ever any point in denying him? He could put up a fight, but what would it lead to? Katya had troubles with denying Trixie Mattel anything - love was one of those things.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This turned out to be a seriously angsty-fluffy mess, but I hope you like it nonetheless (hey). Now, I should say that there are probably no (I hope) trigger warnings in this chapter - but the next one will deal with Katya's addiction and thoughts on weight loss. It's not a huge thing for the chapter, but I thought you should know. I really hope that you like this little nugget of mine, happy readings my doves!

” You did what? How did I miss this?” Trixie asked, his brown eyes staring wildly at the blonde man in front of him. Brian, or Katya had surprisingly turned out to become one of his best friends. He had never thought that they would still be this close. Of course, that always came with a price. Trixie, who had been in a serious relationship for the beginning of his friendship with the other man, had known to put Brian in a friendship jar right away, and make sure to screw that seal on as tightly as possible. He had done that as a preventive measure, only because whenever he was around the quirky Faux-Russian – he felt the most immeasurable kind of love that he had felt for a long time. They just got each other in a way that seemed unfeasible to anyone else.

Trixie did have the balls to admit that he felt something for Katya, but he had never been able to determinate whether it was just platonic or not. So, he kept his mouth shut even after the relationship ended – thinking to himself that someday, he would just blurt it out, they would get married and have little dogs that they took to the dog park. Katya would make him watch re-runs of ‘Contact’, but Trixie would take it because he would then force Katya to give up his precious nicotine addiction for him. It all seemed perfect. Until it wasn’t.

Trixie met someone else, Katya got angry, and it all resulted in them barely speaking for nearly five months. They had shot several episodes’ worth of their show, but Trixie had been forced to speak with plenty of angry producers – even Ron was annoyed, and that had practically never happened before– about how they did realize that they were breaching their contract, but they needed yet another break. Thankfully, a loophole was found, and they were both off the hook. Not that Trixie wanted to be but the short messages Katya would reply with on occasion, usually when Trixie had bombarded her with texts – the older queen made it perfectly clear that she had no intentions of continuing on their show if it meant lying to their fans and to herself. So, they didn’t. Trixie realized that she had been leading Katya on. Their relationship had started as a fun thing they did for their fans that shipped them together, but it soon led to snuggling and making out when they were just Brian and Brian.

When Katya had propositioned Trixie for sex, Brian Firkus’s whole being was shaken to the core. He had tried to search for signs that the other man was just joking around, but there was nothing but lust and adoration in those big, blue eyes. Even then, when he knew that at least one of them had passed the point of platonically cuddling each other, he still wouldn’t stop. He kid himself when he pushed his own feelings away, because they were always hiding underneath the surface – just biding their time before they would come bursting out. Trixie knew he was being unfair, he really did. But he couldn’t stop. And that was ultimately what led to that awful afternoon.

_“So, what are we doing tonight? I’m finally all moved in Tracy, you need to come over and see my new place. I haven’t even painted the walls in some neon tragedy yet.” Katya asked as she wiped away the last reminders of her drag persona in the small dressing room they shared in Wow Presents studios. Trixie smirked, knowing that the horrendous yellowy green – honestly, the colour was too bright for anyone to figure out what it actually was, Katya considered it soothing though – was finally out of their lives. Whenever she would visit Katya in Boston, she would always make some kind of comment about how the colour of her walls actually hurt her cornea. And that was coming from the guy that had hot pink all over his own apartment._

_“Actually, I’m kind of busy tonight. I was going to tell you, but that guy I was talking to has been getting sort of serious about us. I’m even meeting his parents tonight, it’s insane – right?” Trixie blurted out, chuckling to herself. She hadn’t told her friend about the guy she had been seeing, Jack – she would like to think that was just about keeping some form of privacy, but for some reason, Katya had been popping up into her mind. She was worried about hurting her friend, and had had to spend several days of convincing herself that it would be fine. If there was anything you could count on Brian McCook to do, it was supporting her. No matter what._

_Trixie waited for a response, but wound up with an awkward silence that spread across the room. She instantly knew that something was wrong. She glanced over to Katya, who was sitting beside her in front of the big, dirty mirror they had hanging on the wall. The only remnants left of Katya was a red smudge on her chin from the copious amounts of red lipstick he smacked on. Only Brian was left, and he looked incredibly solemn. Trixie kept on staring at him whilst wiping at her own face with a stack of makeup wipes, hoping that her piercing stare would prompt her friend to finally give her the ‘okay’- mark she was subconsciously craving. Finally, Brian looked over – a cold look on his face._

_“Oh.” He replied, before returning to wiping the persistent lipstick off of his face. “What do you mean, ‘oh’? That’s all I get?” Trixie asked, now mildly annoyed. “What do you want, Bri?” Brian asked, an uncharacteristically stern tone in his voice that sent chills up Trixie’s spine. “I don’t know, maybe something that doesn’t make you sound like I just asked you to kill your own mother?” Trixie propositioned, hoping that they could turn this around before it got any worse. “Sorry if my response isn’t what you were expecting, but that’s what you’re going to get.” Brian continued, not letting up. As he had finished wiping away furiously at his face, Trixie watched as he pulled the tight dress he had bunched around his waist off of his torso. Usually, Brian would make some comment about his body, trying to kid around whilst he was half-naked, but now – he just grabbed his black t-shirt and quickly threw it on._

_“Why are you so upset?” Trixie muttered. It wasn’t as if he didn’t already know the answer, however – because in reality, it had been on his mind from the start. For a minute, Brian’s eyes softened as he looked over at him. “I’m sorry, but I think we are about to have a fight. I’m going to say some harsh things now, and I don’t think I’ll be able to apologize for them once they’re out. Do you understand?” He asked calmly, to which Trixie could only nod, the final strand of makeup now gone from his face – and so, the masque he could hide his feelings behind._

_“Honestly, I just don’t want you to play dumb. You know exactly what’s going on. I feel like you’ve been taking advantage of me, and that fucking sucks.” Brian continued solemnly, sadness washing over his face._

_Bri instantly flew into defence mode, which was something he had been hoping to avoid; only because he knew how he acted once he set himself up like that. He tore the large, blonde wig off of his head and then put his own colourful Trixie-t-shirt back on. “Don’t you think it sort of takes two to tango, Brian? We knew what we were setting ourselves up for, and you have said in the past that you think we wouldn’t work like that. We’re so different.”_

_“Sure, we took this whole ‘Trixya’-thing too far, but you’re not the one that the entirety of our fans has labelled as love sick. And the worst part is that they’re not wrong. You knew that when you let me cuddle and kiss you. You’re just afraid to admit the fact that you like me too, which is why you’re rushing into this whole thing with your supposed boyfriend.” Brian rambled on, his large eyes now blown out, making him look slightly bewildered. Bri sighed, standing up to put his jeans on. The ‘other’ Brian wasn’t wrong. In fact, he was probably one hundred percent right in his assessment. He had tried to dial down the boundary-blurring things they did, but still let the older man do some things that would grant him the closeness both of them craved. Jack had been incredibly understanding, thinking that was just how their friendship worked; and had promised that he wouldn’t get jealous unless they continued their probably inappropriate ways when they were boys._

_“Don’t bring him into this. You know why this can’t work, and that’s all I can really tell you. You’re too impulsive, give it another month or so and you’ll have found someone else to claw onto.” Bri snapped. He was not into having this conversation anymore. However, once he saw the look on Brian’s face, he immediately regretted his harsh words. He could see all of the hurt and defeat flash across the blonde man’s features, along with the fact that tears were beginning to dwell up in his eyes; threatening to roll down his flustered cheeks. Bri zipped up his pants and then ran a hand through his short hair. Shit. A tear ran down Brian’s cheek, making the younger queen immediately plummet into action._

_“Fuck, I’m sorry. Please don’t cry, I didn’t mean it like that.” He pleaded, watching the Russian impersonator furiously wipe the tears from his cheeks. Brian Firkus had never seen his friend cry before, only on a video he put up on periscope. Katya never cried, and now, he had caused it. He took a tentative step towards his friend, who had begun stuffing things into his black backpack. Brian snapped his head to look at him, the look he gave him was enough to step off. Instead, he just watched as his, perhaps former, friend took all of his belongings and stormed out of the dressing room._

What had followed after that was dreadful to even think about. Trixie had been forced to simply watch different videos and pictures Katya posted of her and their friends, specifically Alaska. Whilst she knew that even after Katya had seemingly decided to start talking to her again, she had no right to question the amount of time her friend spent with the reigning Drag race-queen. She had to tread carefully, all was still not right. Trixie was still seeing Jack, so there was that. Katya told her when they made up over the phone that she had no interest in discussing their fight again, because she felt like it would only lead to another. Trixie was also, under no circumstances, allowed to bring up the feelings Katya had had for her. Despite the fact that she desperately wanted to, for reasons she could both admit to herself and those she couldn’t – she needed to respect her friend’s conditions so that they could start building their relationship up again. Because the bitter truth was that Trixie was nothing without Katya. She could pretend that since she had only really known the other queen for a slightly limited amount of time, going back to her old life would be simple. But it wasn’t. No matter how she tried, there was no getting past that fact.

Realizing that she had spent too much time in her own mind, she snapped out of it and met Katya’s amused face. “I zone out like that too, at times. Usually, it’s because I’m imagining a world where I get to lay on the hood of a car and scout for extra-terrestrial connections.” Katya reasoned, a small smirk playing on her red lips. Trixie rolled her eyes, trying to push aside the lump she had in her throat. “I thought we were officially closing the ‘Contact’-chapter for good.” She remarked, making Katya beam at her. “I’m proud that you got that reference. But yes, we’re about to start recording next week or something. So, I’m going to have to try and balance the podcast with Alaska along with the thing we’ve got going on here.”

Trixie watched her friend idly as she informed her of the new business plan she had got going on with Alaska. What Katya didn’t realize, was that her ramblings were actually multi-facetted. How were they going to balance their ‘thing’ with the booming friendship Katya had going on with the queen that had beat her to the crown? Trixie was jealous of them. Jealous that Alaska got to experience what an uncomplicated relationship with Katya was like. Trixie had spent several nights, after Jack had fallen asleep, scrolling through videos and pictures of them – also noticing that after they had gone to Aspen together, Katya had started to comment Alaska’s pictures in the exact same way she had commented on Trixie’s. It seemed like such a trivial thing to get hung up on, but she couldn’t help herself. She was now completely and utterly obsessed with finding out what was going on.

“Okay, well, as long as you don’t spill all of the T with her and save some for me.” Trixie made a half-assed attempt of a joke. Katya smirked and replied light-heartedly: “Of course not. You should be happy; I’ve actually succeeded in making her watch Contact and she liked it. Now, I can transfer all of my admiration for Jodie Foster onto her.” She stretched her thin arms out in a bow as she headed over to her fridge. Trixie had finally gotten around to visiting her new apartment, but had hoped in light of their conversation that they were in a more neutral place then Katya’s small kitchen table. Her friend’s words didn’t make her feel any better than the fact that she had been in full Tracy-mode for the entire day now. They had headed straight to Katya’s after filming some videos at WOW-presents. Hearing that Alaska had already proven to be a remarkably better friend than she was wasn’t making anything better.

“You say that, but I still haven’t been able to convince you that watching Disney movies is a perfectly acceptable way for any grown man to live.” Trixie retorted and accepted the Snapple Katya handed her before the other queen sat down. “They are filled to the brim with misogyny and a bunch of white people, and I’m not here for any of that.” Katya determined. Trixie chuckled and agreed with her, it was true – whether she wanted to give up her childhood or not.

Trixie dwelled in her own mind for a bit, trying to contemplate what Katya had just told her. Her mind was running crazy with different scenarios of how all of this could turn out. The most prominent one was where Katya told her that she had decided to make it official with Alaska, and Trixie would just stand idly by whilst everything transpired. No, she couldn’t do that. She hoped that what she was about to say wouldn’t be interpreted as anything close to the boundary Katya set for them, but she had to say it regardless: “So, is there anything going on with you and Justin?” she asked innocently whilst sipping on her drink. She peeked under her heavy lashes at Katya, and noticed that the other queen had crossed her arms and now had her head cocked to one side.

“Would it matter to you if there was?” Katya shot back, and Trixie realized that she had walked straight into a trap.

“No, of course not.” _Yes, of course it does._

“Good to know.” Katya answered, casually shrugging. It was clear to Trixie that Katya was toying with her, wanting to know what she would do. She realized that whilst she had changed into her boy clothes, she still had on a full face of makeup. “Do you mind if I go get cleaned up? I need to get out of this face before I become it.” Katya let out one of her asthmatic laughs that Trixie had learned to love so much, and then gave her the ‘go ahead’. Once Trixie returned, Katya had slipped into a pair of black jeans and one of her own merch t-shirts.

“So, how’s Jack then?” Katya asked in such a way that Bri knew she really had no interest in it whatsoever, but felt like she was at least obliged to try. He sat down again and sighed before he answered: “It’s good. I guess. We don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want …”

“Hey, we’re threading on dangerous territory here, my silly goose of a friend.” Katya warned, and wagged a thin finger at him. “Besides, apparently I’m hooking up with Alaska now – so you’re off the hook.” She added. Bri rolled his eyes, silently cursing at himself for ever having brought up the Alaska thing. “On that note, I need to get going. But we’ll see each other tomorrow, I guess? Ron said to be at the studio at like ten or so, we’ll be shooting something for some ‘mean comments’ video whilst we’re there.” He explained whilst he headed over to where he had tossed his jacket and boots.

Katya followed him until he was at the front door, peering into the other queen’s eyes. For some reason, the distance between himself and Katya seemed less and less. Then, Katya did something she rarely ever did; she engulfed him into a deep hug. He held tight, relishing in the opportunity of being close to his friend. “What’s this for?” he asked jokingly whilst stroking her back in small circles with his hand. He could feel Katya’s mouth get closer to his ear – her calm breaths sending yet another wave of chills down his back.

“I just figured you needed it, Barbie. And by the way, Justin has a boyfriend.”

For some reason, her words sent a jolt of joy through his entire being. He knew then that what was about to happen was something he would probably grow to regret in some way, but he couldn’t control himself. Not anymore. He leaned his head back and stared straight into Brian’s eyes, the barrier that Katya provided melted away before him. The other man just stared straight back at him, signalling that he too knew what was transpiring. Bri took a deep breath before he closed the distance between them, crashing their lips together violently.

He tore Brian’s wig off, and then followed suit on removing his shirt. He proceeded to spin them around and press Brian against the door, making quick of grabbing his hips and hoisting his thin legs around his waist. The kisses between them held everything that they had gone through in the last couple of months. Every fight, regret, anger, lust, passion was in there, but first of all – the love. Bri moved down to place sloppy kisses onto Brian’s neck, relishing in the gasps he emitted from the Faux-Russian impersonator. He was just about to take things to the next level when he heard Brian’s voice: “Baby? We need to stop.”

Bri instantly tore himself off of his neck, having left ugly hickeys down Brian’s entire throat. He would need to apologize for those later. For now, he settled on just making sure that he hadn’t done anything wrong. Well, he knew that there was a lot wrong with what they had done, but he hoped that his sudden burst of passion hadn’t hurt the other man. His makeup was now all over his face, which for some reason made him look even sexier. Bri was sure that he had some of that red, hooker lipstick on him as well. “I don’t want to be some home wrecker. That’s not how I want this to start.” Brian reasoned, still gasping for air from their rendezvous. In all honesty, neither of them wanted that. He was the one that had cheated, and he needed to deal with that, but there was no point in dragging Brian into all of this.

“I’m sorry.” He said in a puny little voice, hoping that he hadn’t ruined things between them yet again. Brian’s gaze softened, and he reached a hand out to cup his chin. “Don’t be sorry. I’m not. You have to decide for yourself what you should do, but just know that I’m here. I still want you. All of you, man and lady-man. This is what I was waiting for you to do when we weren’t speaking.” Bri smiled, and managed to squeeze his lips down to kiss Brian’s pale wrist.

“I know. I always knew, I just wasn’t ready. Listen, I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Brian smirked, and then stated jokingly: “I’ll be having words with you later about those bruises I’m sure are residing on my neck by now. Bye, Tracy.”

“Bye Kathy.” Before he knew it, he was out of the door. The biggest question now was what the hell he was going to tell his boyfriend. It wasn’t like him to cheat, but for Brian, he hadn’t even cared. That was what he had to focus on, because this would be the only chance he had left to make it right between them. He needed to take that chance.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey you guys! I decided to stop using Brian and Brian and just start writing Katya and Trixie - simply to not confuse myself or you. I hope that's okay! I'm really glad that you liked the first chapter. Next one will most likely be the last, but we'll see. Happy readings, my doves!

Katya wondered whether or not he would ever have those feelings of wanting to ‘jump on pink clouds and shit diamonds’, or, what saner people than himself would describe as love. He had never been in a serious relationship with anyone, unless you counted the girlfriends he had before he was officially out of the closet. He loved them dearly, but even then, if you were to disregard the fact that he wasn’t really into women – he still felt a sense of wanting to get away whenever someone would get too close to him. That had coloured the rest of his dating life in the aspect of him only getting laid on occasion, but never meeting a solid boyfriend.

He had endured several conversations with his mother on why that was, because all she really wanted for him was to find someone that could carry him forward when he didn’t have the strength to do it for himself. Where he saw opportunities to live his life on his own premises, she saw bitter loneliness. When he laid in bed, really having to get up to meet Alaska in approximately two hours, he stayed under his sheets – trying to find an answer as to why he had functioned the way that he had for his entire adult life. He guessed that his depression and social anxiety had always played a big part in it. He was the type of person that could really be described as an introvert. Sure, he had made a career out of preforming in packed clubs and bars, but the price he had to pay for that he made up for abundantly in being alone when he got home. If he had a boyfriend, his personal space would be severely compromised. He had seen that possibility with quite a few men in his time, but since it hadn’t ever gone somewhere – it seemed unnecessary to dwell on it.

Then there was of course, his addiction. He had spent so much time being ashamed of who he was – and frankly, not really seeing a way out of his self-made misery. Being a drug addict wasn’t fun, which was of course pretty obvious to anyone that didn’t do drugs, but when he had looked himself in a mirror and realized that he was deteriorating before his very eyes; that was when he knew that he had to change. This time, it would be for good. He wanted to be someone that at the very least stood a chance of finding happiness, but as it turns out, the remnants of his addiction would forever be lurking by his side.

At the end of the day, he simply had no idea how anyone could stand to be around him as much as a relationship required. That was of course, before he had met the ever so fabulous Trixie Mattel. Whilst they were shooting Drag Race, they had gotten increasingly closer. Brian would lurk around in the hallway of their hotel, waiting for his friend to sneak him into his room. They would gossip about the other queens, Katya would talk about his life – and there it was, the blooming friendship that they had turned into a business opportunity.

He had known quite early on that he was attracted to the younger man, but had dismissed it as just wanting to fuck him. Nothing had ever prepared him for the bomb that was to come, when he had realized that there was so much more than just horniness that lurked within his chaotic mind.

 

* * *

 

 

_“Okay, if we’re definitely sharing a bed – I want to apologize in advance for any snoring or sleep talking.” Trixie chuckled before he slipped under the sheets of their large bed. Katya had already crept under there, having wrapped a towel over his otherwise naked body before he had laid down. There was nothing like taking a shower after a gig and then slipping into a big, comfy bed._

_“I’ll have to warn you as well mother, underneath this damp towel, I am completely naked.” Katya replied in his ‘Maureen’-voice that always made Trixie giggle. This time, he snorted and laughed tiredly. “I’m literally so tired that I don’t even care. Just don’t accidentally slip it in when I’m sleeping.”_

_This made Katya wheeze with laughter as he imagined that particular scenario in his head. He turned in the bed so he was facing Trixie, a wide smirk on his face. “This is the time where we’re supposed to share secrets and express radical religious values.”_

_Trixie turned around to face him as well, brown eyes meeting blue ones. They were both leaning down on their hands, which probably made the entire situation seem more innocent than it actually was. They had shared a bed before, which had never been a problem since nothing had ever happened. But this time, something seemed different. Katya could see in Trixie’s eyes that he was up to something. That same objectivity that he usually treated Katya with seemed to be gone, based on the looks that he was giving him; they were alluring and curious._

_“Okay, I’ll play. I thought you looked really beautiful tonight.” Trixie murmured, which made Katya blush involuntarily._

_“Well, thank you. The elderly hag still has some game.” Katya joked, trying to lighten the mood. He knew that getting into something with Trixie probably wasn’t the best idea. Then again, he had never been one to deny himself anything. So, whatever invitation he thought he got, it was in his nature to be drawn towards it._

_“Could you cuddle me? I’m feeling lonely and desperate.” Trixie asked, making Katya furrow her brows. He knew that it might turn out to be a bad idea, but nonetheless, he opened his arms up and let the other Brian crawl into his embrace. Trixie leaned his head underneath Katya’s chin and sighed with contentment when Katya let his arm drape over him and draw him close to his chest. “Are you trying to wife me up? Because it’s working.” He mumbled, not so much an innocent question as it was an attempt to decipher what was happening._

_“I don’t know if I could marry someone with so much integrity and grace – I’d feel inadequate.” Trixie replied with a snort, her usual dry sense of humour returning. Katya smiled to himself and drew the queen closer to him. “Go to sleep before you use up all of your big words, you cunt.” He muttered before dozing off._

_He woke again when he felt a small hand drawing circles on his hip. He peeked one eye open and saw that Trixie had leaned back, now staring right at him with big, dark eyes. “Fuck, you scared me.” He gasped, wanting to know what was worth nearly giving him a heart attack. He had always been very skittish and extremely wired, so the slightest thing threatened to make him jump out of his skin._

_“I just want to try something.” Trixie replied huskily, and then started to lean in. Katya stared in awe at his friend as he got closer and closer, not really knowing what to do. The only thing he did know for certain was that he did not want to deny himself some intimacy, so when Brian Firkus’s lips touched his own, he immediately kissed him back with equal fervour. The kiss was short, but incredibly sweet. When Trixie pulled away, Katya immediately missed his touch. “What was that for?” he inquired, a thin brow cocked to mark his confusion._

_Trixie rolled his eyes and then leaned in to press another chaste kiss to his friend’s lips. He pulled away just enough in order to murmur quietly: “I really need this right now.”_

_That was all he needed to hear. They spent the following hour just lying there in each other’s arms, kissing and giggling. It was a wonderful evening, but they didn’t speak of it the next day. There wasn’t any need to; they knew that it was just a matter of two friend’s enjoying the company of one another when there wasn’t any trade around to fill that position. Just two friends. Nothing more._

 

* * *

 

 

Over time, Katya had begun to get more and more attached. He knew that he shouldn’t have let Trixie kiss him the other day, but he was still unable to deny that man anything. He genuinely hoped that they would have a real chance of trying to figure out what they were once Jack was out of the picture. He had nothing against Trixie’s boyfriend, in fact, it was quite the contrary. He actually liked the guy. Had he not, he would have let the plastic fantasy have his way with him, right there in his own hallway. But that wasn’t who Brian McCook was anymore, it couldn’t be. So there he was, twenty-four hours had passed, and he was still waiting for a confirmation that they were good to go. Trixie had sent him a text, saying that he had to wait until Jack got back from work. How it had turned out, Katya had no idea. He honestly didn’t know what to do if it didn’t work out in his favour this time around.

After he had dragged his body out of bed, managed to throw on a pair of clean black jeans and his ‘Madonna’ t-shirt, he headed out of the door to meet Alaska. They had agreed to meet up at the closest Starbucks as they had a lot of formalities to go through with their podcast. Katya was enjoying the fact that he got to do all sorts of things after being on TV, but it felt strange to be involved in something with a brand new person. Alaska wasn’t new in his life per se, but they had never worked together in anything other than drag shows. Well, there was always that time where he lost the crown to her, ‘ _but that’s neither here nor there’_ he thought to himself with a smirk. As he strutted down the streets, he lit up a cigarette to take a few puffs as he headed towards his target.

Alaska, or Justin, was already there when Katya arrived. He had no idea why anyone would say that Justin wasn’t attractive as a man. He loved Alaska dearly and thought she was sexy as hell, but Justin had this confident aura that Katya envied. “Hello there creature of the night.” Katya greeted his friend as he sat down at the small, outdoor table that Alaska had picked out for them. Katya smiled as she saw a barista approaching them with two huge Frappuccino’s. His friend knew him too well. “I figured that I might as well just order for you. You’ve gotten so skinny lately I feel like shoving straight up fat down your throat.” Alaska remarked in her raspy voice, prompting Katya to huff as she took a gulp from her frozen drink.

“I thought I should start giving Violet a run for her money.”

Truthfully, Katya hated the way he looked. After he had been on the road for so much, the small amount of weight he had been able to put on just fizzled away. Now, he worked too much to get a grip on his diet. Someone like Violet or Pearl managed to look sexy as hell despite of her fragile figures, but Katya felt like he was too old for that. He was nearly thirty-five years old, his body wasn’t supposed to look the way that it did. He also enjoyed flaunting curves as Katya – that was beginning to be a difficult thing to accomplish, pads could only do so much. When all of his costumes had begun to look droopy, he had lost his will do sew them in any further. It didn’t help that Trixie was constantly on his case about it, Katya suspected that the younger queen had begun to get suspicious if there was something else going on.

“So, how’s life? Are you and Brian getting along?” Alaska asked curiously. Katya had wanted to confide in someone that knew both him and Trixie, but the result was that Alaska asked him about it constantly.

“We are like two dysfunctional peas in a pod. Well, at least I hope we still are.” Katya replied with a shrug, not really sure if he should tell Alaska what had happened the other night. By the looks of his friend, however, he was probably not going to be able to keep it from him.

“Did you have another fight? Fuck.” Alaska exclaimed, shaking his head at his friends’ nonsense. “No, we didn’t have another fight. We, uh, quite the opposite, actually.” Katya rambled and then took another sip of her drink to collect his thoughts.

Alaska cocked one of his brows and chuckled. “You whore.”

Katya let out a wheezy laugh, flailing his arms around. “No, no, no! I was good and stopped it, I promise. He’s still got a boyfriend, so there’s that. Please don’t tell me that I’m being shady, because I didn’t start it and he promised that he would end it with his guy, so I’m just waiting for that call and – “Katya barely noticed that he had gone on a long tirade before Alaska interrupted him mid-rant:

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is that, even though I live for Trixie, it wasn’t that long ago that he completely shattered your heart. He outright told you that you needed to find someone else to ‘claw onto’ or some shit like that. I don’t know, just set some standards for yourself. Don’t be that compliant.” Alaska sighed, apparently not holding back for the sake of Katya’s feelings. People rarely did.

Of course, in some way, he knew that his friend was right. Katya rarely made a case for himself, which in turn resulted in him often drawing the short straw from different relationships. It was true of course that Trixie had hurt him really badly, but none of it seemed to matter when he finally got the confirmation that he wasn’t being crazy or ‘just Katya’ – it _was_ reciprocated, and the younger man _did_ feel something for him. In light of that, Katya knew that he needed to defend his love. “I get where you’re coming from, but trust me – it’s going to be okay.”

 

* * *

 

 

Later that evening, Katya was getting ready for a gig. She still hadn’t heard a word from Trixie, and now she was beginning to feel incredibly anxious. She should have known that this would happen, because nothing would ever work out in Brian McCook’s favour. Trixie had probably changed his mind, again, and Brian would be alone – yet again.

A few hours later, the crowd was roaring at her. When Katya was on stage, she liked to think that she was a real, biological woman. She often claimed that to be the case whenever she was in drag, but especially when she was in her true element; which was near a crowd. After having just finished a song, she prepared to spout some final words of wisdom when she saw a familiar face in the crowd. Standing right there, next to one of his friends was Trixie. Brian Firkus was officially in the building and it drove Katya to the brink of insanity. They locked eyes over the crowd, and Trixie offered her a tired smile.

Katya had no idea how she should feel. Unfortunately, she was not given a lot of time to digest it all before she realized that the crowd was waiting for her, so she snapped out of her trance. What came out of her mouth after that was something ill-advised, improvised and just all around impulsive:

“You know who else is in the building? We’ve got the one and only legend, icon and star in her own mind; Trixie Mattel!” Katya shouted into the microphone, which made the crowd go absolutely wild. She could see Trixie roll her eyes and smile awkwardly at the people that turned around to greet her.

“Ha, oh my God. Sorry Tracy. Listen, you guys…” Katya drifted off, noticing that all eyes were on her again. There were two ways that this could go. Either, she could control herself and say something sweet – or, she could go into a deeply embarrassing rant that would most likely make Trixie angry. She chose the latter.

“Barbara, I did do it. I did try to… fuck her. You’d better believe it.” After that, a long rhapsody of her attempts to sleep with Brian Firkus just flew out of her mouth. She admitted that she had nearly succeeded, and noticed in that moment that Brian was making his way out of the crowd. Desperation now came into play, as Katya had no intentions of making the possible love of her life leave the room.

“I am willing to Thelma and Louise it off that fiscal cliff with that ho’ any day. She’s the one I think of when I get out of bed in the morning, and I go ‘whyy’ and then I think of her and I’m all like ‘why not? Whatever, it’s fun, yeah’.”

She had hoped that this would make Trixie stay, and it seemed like she succeeded in her attempts as the brown eyed man swirled around and laughed at her words. Katya winked to the crowd and then took a bow. After she had entered her dressing room, the process of taking Katya off had never gone quicker. She needed to find him. After Katya had thrown on his grey sweatpants and zipped up a green hoodie over his chest, it was time to go out the back. Once he did, he strode out in hopes of locating his friend.

He felt a tap on his shoulder and assumed that it was a drunk fan that wanted to get a picture with him, which was typically the case. He sighed and turned around, ready to tell the person that he was a little busy at the moment, when he saw the object of his desire. Trixie stood there, an unreadable expression on his face.

“Hey.” He greeted Katya, who just stood there, looking sufficiently sheepish.

“Hi.”

“So you’d actually toss yourself off of a cliff with me? That seems excessive.” Trixie retorted, crossing his arms over his toned chest.

“As the kids say, it’s just an expression. I wasn’t expecting to see you, I thought you had bailed on me again.” Katya pointed out, wanting to remember Alaska’s cautionary words and keep his guard up. Trixie cocked his head to the side and studied Katya’s stand offish exterior.

“I had a long night. Jack didn’t get home until late last night, and then we spent nearly four hours just fighting and crying. He left this morning.” Trixie explained, sadness washing over his features. Katya felt awful for Jack, he really did, but a flare of hope rose in his chest at the words that were coming out of Trixie’s mouth. Given the circumstances, the flare was kept relatively small for protection – but it was still there.

“I’m sorry to hear that. What did he say?” Katya asked, not really knowing what else to say in a situation like that. He didn’t want to expect anything.

“He told me that he was disappointed in me, and that he thought he knew me better than that. He questioned the fact that I would get into something with you, given your background…” Trixie explained, making Katya feel like the smallest man on the face of the earth. The fact that people still held his past against him felt like a punch in the gut. He understood that Jack was upset and obviously did not need to feel any form of responsibility for Katya, but it still hurt. He remembered the time when Vicky Vox had gone after him, claiming that he needed help more than he needed stardom. Because all she saw was a drug addict in recovery. Nothing more, nothing less.

“… And I told him that had nothing to do with it. I don’t care. I am pissed that you talked about that just now, but I’m going to let it slide for a bit because right now I really just want to kiss you, take you home and fuck your brains out.” Trixie continued, making Katya cough out of surprise. He knew that he shouldn’t. He should do this the ‘right’ way, but nothing could stop him from rushing forward and engulfing Trixie in a deep hug.

He leaned his head back and pressed his lips forcefully to Trixie’s own. The kiss was different this time. Nothing was holding them back, so Katya had no qualms about biting down on his lover’s bottom lip, sucking it into his mouth. He heard a small low, guttural moan emit from Trixie’s throat, which only spurred him on even more. He slipped his tongue in and pressed Trixie even closer to his body. It felt like they had been standing there for forever when Katya finally drew back from their embrace and waggled his eyebrows. “Let’s get out of here, shall we?”

“Oh fuck yes.”

 

 


End file.
